As a traditional student in a rigorous doctoral program, I’m surrounded by some of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met. Almost everyone I know graduated at the top of their class in high school and at their undergraduate institutions. Most are used to making only A’s in their courses with the occasional B.
We all pretty much agree that the intensity of the program itself lies more in the volume of the material and our time constraints than in the difficulty of the subject matter. Overall, because of the academic habits we’ve cultivated and honed over the years as traditional students, it would only take us minimal effort if we just wanted to “get by” and pass.
Then there are the non-traditional students. These are the students who have families to juggle, are starting a new career path, have been out of school for years and have to relearn academic skills, are significantly older than the general student population, just left the military, or simply have challenges that are more unique than us traditional students.
It interests me to see the differences in coping abilities between the traditional students and the non-traditional students when it comes to overcoming the challenges and obstacles of the program. At the end of the day, we all face the same academic obstacles and will graduate with the same degree, but some of us seem to handle the stress much better.
After failing a test or a class, the traditional students are more inclined to see themselves as a failure and treat it as if it’s the end of the world. The actual outcome itself is beyond their comprehension. They think, “How could this happen to me? This is the kind of stuff that happens to other people, not me!” They will go as far as begging professors for special treatment or even arguing with them for some perceived wrong. The behavior they exhibit is not an act of personal ambition or a demonstration of drive in getting what they want, but a sense of entitlement.
The non-traditional students, on the other hand, do show their disappointment after failing; but they tend to get over it quicker, realize that it’s not the end of the world, weigh their options, and move on. They know that their result on a test just indicates how they prepared and performed for that moment in time. The outcome is not a statement about who they are as a person and has no bearing on their personal identity. They are more likely to see it as just another challenge that they will learn and grow from.
I think we can learn a lot from the attitudes of non-traditional students. Their life experience has taught them perspective about what “real” obstacles are, so they are better able to manage their stress levels and expectations. I’m sure challenges like realizing you’ve been in the wrong career (or marriage) for 20 years can teach you that a failed class is definitely something that can be recovered from.
Let’s take this lesson beyond the classroom and look at a perceived failure in our lives. Is it something that only represents our behavior and actions at a particular moment of time, and thus do not encapsulate the dynamic and growing individuals that we are? Is it something we can recover from? Is it the worst thing we can possibly imagine going through?
I challenge you to look at your challenges from other perspectives and realize that, many times, it isn’t the end of the world, it’s not a statement about your personal being, and you can and will grow from them.
Art of Sleeping Awake 